50 Shades of Twilight

Somehow, I knew it was coming. It was in my news feed yesterday and I just wasn’t surprised. Not even a little. That purveyor of teenage angst, Stephanie Meyer is ‘re-imagining’ her Twilight series. Bella is becoming Beau and Edward is becoming Edythe. So now, instead of a 250 year old male vampire stalking a sullen female teenager, we get the 250 year old female vampire stalking male sullen teenager.  I suppose next we’ll be hearing about E.L. James writing a gender reversal of 50 Shades as well.Perhaps she’ll call it 50 Shades of Gemima.  It’s stuff like this that makes me

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James and Meyer seem to be feeding off of each other here, James reimagining 50 Shades from Christian’s POV, something Meyer has already done with Midnight Sun. I’m not sure what came of that, since the manuscript was leaked, but I can see E.L. James now. Surfing the  net, she sees an old article about Meyer’s Twilight from Edward’s POV, arms going up and shouting “Eureka! I can recycle 50 Shades from Christian’s POV and no one will ever know I don’t have an idea in my head. I’ll claim my fans have been clamoring for this all along!”

It is my fervent wish that these two would take their bazillions of dollars, go and sin no more, but I guess fame and fortune are too addictive to give up.

Am I too picky (yes I am) to want these people,  who have the attention of the world and readers who hang onto every morsel published, to do better? Granted, I don’t expect Austen or duMaurier or even Rosemary Rogers, but come on. I see a picture on facebook and a new idea pops into my head for at the very least a short story. I know there’s nothing new under the sun, but rewriting Twilight is recycling of the lowest form. If you can’t come up with something original (or at least a twist on it) do you really want to rehash old material?  And here’s the thing. You can re-write things, but you should at least have the wherewithal to make it sort of new and steal from the greats. Re-write Rebecca or For Whom the Bell Tolls, not your own mediocre mind-numbing tripe that makes me want to

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Just a thought.

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