Don’t eat my bacon, I won’t eat your cauliflower

bacon cheeseburger

If I worked at, say, Harry’s Hamburger Hut and you came in wanting a double cheeseburger with bacon, I wouldn’t say “That’s bad for you, it’ll clog your arteries, here, have some cauliflower instead,” you’d call the manager and tell him I was interfering with your right to a bacon cheeseburger and that you don’t like cauliflower. Unless you do, in which case, I think you need to rethink your priorities.


That little analogy is the introduction to my opinion on the whole Kim David thing. What I think is really happening has nothing to do with her desire to convert LGBT people to Jesus’ path. My humble opinion, they’re already there.


jesus meme figs

Being behind the curve on this whole Kim Davis kerfuffle has kept me from making the mistake other bloggers have, (the letter is a fraud, like the Twitter account of her coworker) and for that I say (npi) Thank You Jesus. But I digress already. I’m not going to condemn Kim Davis or call her names or quote scripture (even though all that time spent in Bible study is now paying off handsomely) or tell her that I think she’s a bigot and a hypocrite.

Jesus meme

Yes, she is all that, but more to the point, I think she’s a fraud. Yup, that what I said. Having followed the story from her first refusal all the way to the memes that are apparently endless, I have come to the conclusion that this is a ploy. Why? Because I think she’s seen the results of all the Go Fund Me pages where hundreds of thousands of dollars have been donated to other “Christians”.  Those who “stand up for their beliefs” and then made a boat load of money because those opposing them are so quick to spew hate and threaten. I also think she wants her fifteen minutes of fame but soon will realize that sitting in a jail cell, even if the family brings you your bunny pajamas and fluffy slippers, isn’t the same as being at home wearing them while sitting on the sofa watching Pat Robertson make a bigger fool of himself.


Is this cynical of me? Why, yes it is. Yet it’s also valid, I believe, because I’ve watched other so called Christians enjoying the lime light. Oh, look, those pizza people now have almost a million dollars to plow through. They’ll never have to get pizza sauce under their fingernails again, thanks to the well meaning (if misguided) people that donated for them. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that, per se. That’s called freedom and if you want to give money to people who want to infringe on the rights of others because it conflicts with what they believe, it’s also your right.


What isn’t your right is this: to bully people who believe differently than you do because it interferes with YOUR belief system. I say that whether you’re gay or straight, Wiccan or Jew, black or white.  Worship who you want, believe what you want, (there are of course exceptions to this rule, like pedophiles) but when that belief gets between me and my beliefs, we’re going to have a problem.

If I love bacon and you don’t, fine. Don’t eat bacon. But don’t break into my house and try to steal my bacon to keep me from eating it. That’s wrong. Why? Because I won’t break into your house and steal your cauliflower just because I don’t like  things that look like brains. A simplistic analogy, true, (and don’t get your knickers in a twist because I’m comparing religion to bacon), but I think we’re over complicating the issues here.

Kim Davis might honestly believe that she’s doing the right thing. But instead of refusing to grant marriage licenses to people who want to do that crazy thing called marriage, she should resign. She was elected to do a job and she’s not doing it. She could be impeached, though knowing Kentucky, I doubt that will happen. Yes, you should stand up for what you believe in. On your own time, not the company you work for (i.e. the government that has declared same sex marriage legal). No private sector business would allow her to not do her job, and that’s how it should be.

I believe in rules. The good ones, not the stupid ones like no selling booze on Sundays, or paying inheritance taxes. Kim Davis has had her fifteen minutes. Let’s not give her anymore of our time or money. I would be willing to wager that by the end of the first day no one pays any attention to her, she’ll slink away, tripping over hair that is way too long for a woman of her advanced years.