Not My Business. Seriously.


Dear Idiots in Government (This means you Michigan):

Can you please just get the hell over yourself? Believe it or not, in spite of the mistakes we make in this country there are some things you, in your lack of infinite wisdom, should not be allowed to dictate to us.  One of them is who we have sex with, or how we have it. It’s not your business, or mine or the nosy neighbor across the alley, it’s whoever’s having at it. That’s not to say I approve of child porn or bestiality by any stretch of the imagination. That is saying, that what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom is NOT YOUR BUSINESS.    Or mine.  (Hear that paparazzi?)

And while I’m at, what makes you so interested in it in the first place? Is your life so boring, that you can’t get enough pizzazz in your own bedroom that you feel the need to legislate your constituents’ bedroom?

Pssst. Here’s a tip: there are people you can pay for that.

It is now punishable by 15 years in prison if anal sex is practiced in Michigan. While it doesn’t specifically target the gay community can we be honest and just admit that it is specifically does?

It reads, specifically:

“A person who commits the abominable and detestable crime against nature with mankind or with any animal is guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment for no more than 15 years.”

Gee can’t imagine who they might be talking about.

What I don’t understand is why this is a concern. Don’t we have enough to worry about? More than 100 people die from prescription overdose every year. Steroid use among athletes and body builders is staggering. Women are killed by their boyfriend/husband/father/brother every. Single. Day. Our prisons are overflowing, criminals come out those locked gates only to re-offend and then head back inside. Children sit in orphanages and shelters, trying to make it to the next day.

My humble (and yet completely right) opinion? We should be working on those problems and letting people choose who they want to sleep (or not sleep) with and mind what matters.

What say we work on unemployment or hire more therapists for criminals. We could go ahead and get rid of the pedophiles and murderers.  Or how about people who do things like tape animals’ feet and mouths together and dump them in a field on the side of the road?

Personally, I have enough issues going on in my life without having to worry about idiots like the Michigan Senate or Donald Trump making it impossible for people to have a little sex because, did I mention, NOT MY BUSINESS?

I find that it defies what little common sense I might have left to try to legislate these things. We don’tactually have a great track record as a country, for that common sense. Prohibition, slavery, segregation, banning bi-racial marriage. Can I just ask how those worked out for ya? They didn’t, and there’s a reason for that.

You cannot legislate human behavior. If they passed a law tomorrow that said people can’t help little old ladies across the street, there would be (I hope) a riot. If you tried to bring back segregation, there would be a riot. Those things are our business. We should look after one another, evoke the better angels at every opportunity.

But what Lucy and Ricky or Ricky and Fred do in their bedrooms?


Or the Michigan Senate.

And just a head’s up, Michigan government, the Supreme Court as already ruled crap like that unconstitutional.

Wouldn’t want to go to jail, would you?





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