One of my new year’s resolutions was not to be lazy about blogging. God knows it’s not like there’s nothing to write about out there. Nothing in my personal life, of course. Considering what I write about, you’d think there’d be more high drama and carrying on, but nope, the drama is on facebook.

Just the other day there was big news in the world of LGBT writers. An author who will remain nameless here was exposed as a fraud. Oh, she wrote her own stories (I think) but she was a woman, pretending to be a gay man who scammed people out of book covers, promotions, beta and editing and worst of all, love.

They had begun making plans for a life together. She used photos of her friends to maintain her cover, shared the drama in ‘his’ life with everyone on facebook and garnered sympathy and love and people who would have defended her to the death.

They opened their hearts to this person, and the people everyone assumed were her family, only to find out that it was all a lie, a scam. To what end? If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say because she wanted to be a writer, knew she wasn’t very good and knew some who were. Though I think a therapist might be useful here.

There’s a great blog post by Lily G. Blunt here that lays it all out, step by step so I won’t belabor that in this post. What I will do is wonder why anyone would do such a thing. What is accomplished by catfishing someone, several someones, into a relationship? Is it the power of knowing you can put one over on people? Is it the material things they get from it? I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this and still find it a puzzle.

I haven’t seen the movie or the television show about catfishing, I don’t want to. My heart would break for the people being catfished just like it did for these people that I am acquainted with on facebook. Yes, I’m a big softie beneath my cynical, hard bitten facade.Don’t tell anybody, I have a reputation as a hard ass to keep up.

The upshot of this is, the backlash from all this caused her to delete his/her facebook pages not just for that one, but for several of the others. Yes, I said several, because there are, including the ones that were supposed to be his brothers. It also left people who trusted her, hurt and angry.

I’m just trying to wrap my head around this, and with her ‘gone’ from facebook, I have no one of whom to ask the question why.

I’ve given it a week and while I’ve thought about it less, it’s still in my head.

I’ve pretty much given up on that now, but if you do know, how about sharing?



3 thoughts on “Catfishing

  1. I think the main reason is insecurity. She cannot love herself, so doesn’t believe anyone else will accept her for who she is. It in no way excuses what transpired, but the need to be someone other than herself, probably kicked it off, I believe.

    One of the basic rules of life I was taught, was that you work for it. Don’t think that anything other than hard work will help you succeed. This individual doesn’t understand this, and thinks that shortcuts will get her what she needs – attention.

    I completely agree with you. She needs therapy, and I truly hope that those people in her real life get her it. Even if it comes with four padded walls and bars on the window.


    • I completely agree Renae. It still boggles my mind that she got away with it for so long, scamming people that way. She definitely needs help, that much is clear, and I too hope the people in her ‘real’ life recognize that she is seriously ill. If it takes a rubber room, so be it.


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